


A Not-So-Merry Christmas

by SayakaYoru351



Series: Sweet Relationship [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe- Modern Setting - Freeform, Christmas Party, Crack Fic, Crossdressing, M/M, Other Characters - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, attempted humor, romcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 05:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13159824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayakaYoru351/pseuds/SayakaYoru351
Summary: It was the most awaited time of the year and so here comes the ShinRa Christmas House Party!Jingle bells, Rufus smells, Reno is so Gay.Cloud gets drunk, Sephiroth danced, Angeal's losing it. Hey!"Zack, the Christmas nightmare-- ""Uh... isn't that suppose to be Rudolf, the red nose reindeer?""Nope!"This took place 5 years after Cloud's First Day-- The what the fuck edition.





	A Not-So-Merry Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> It's a day late, I know. Just a quick fic because I'm bored.

Cloud eyes the ugly-- scratch that-- the overly dramatic red invitation card lying innocently on the kitchen counter like it's a cursed item or something: waiting to meet its demise. The blonde clicks his tongue then glared at the card, seeing if it can feel his disgust and crawl back to its owner and never come back.

"Quit wishing it'll come back to Rufus just because you're sending death wishes to it," Zack sighs but there was no exasperation, just fondness. He pushes himself off the entrance of the kitchen and made his way to the shorter man.

"I hate it."

"Like I can't tell."

The dark-haired man chuckles at the pout Cloud gave. He resisted the urge to tease him about it and just settled on hugging him from behind. Cloud relaxes but he's still glaring at the Christmas card.

"Let's give it a chance. I'm sure it'll be fine," Zack encourages.

He reach for the invitation and examined the thoroughly lined gold cursive words like they were written when it was only printed. Ahh, the wonders of machine, Zack muses. As he opened the card, Cloud screeched like a vampire bathing in sunlight.

"You're being dramatic," Zack rolled his eyes and tightened his hold around the blonde to prevent his escape. 

"And you're being joyous about this!" Cloud hissed and wriggled some more.

"I wouldn't wriggle my ass like that when it's rubbing against someone's groin," as if to prove his point, Zack pressed his forming erection against Cloud ass. The blonde freezes and behaved as was suggested. "Better," the older grins and read the card once again the same way he had a week ago. "Let's see..."

_"Greetings!_

_It's the most awaited time of the year, Merry Christmas!_

_You are invited in the Shinra House Party, hosted by no other than Rufus Shinra himself!_

_There will be fun and surprises. Games and snacks. Plan your own surprise and win a prize!_

_Come at the ShinRa manor at exactly 7:00 p.m on December 25. See ya!"_

"He's practically saying 'be grateful you're invited, you peasant,' the snob," Cloud snarled at the message. 

His lover rested his chin on his shoulder and laughed. "I'd say he wants friends and just lonely." Cloud didn't counter that one. It sounds like Rufus even if the man didn't want to admit it. "So, what's the plan?"

Cloud frowned. That question was directed towards him. He just raised an eyebrow at the man and he received an anticipating smile. "You can go if you want to."

Zack pouted at him. "It's no fun when you're not around."

"You won't be having any fun even if I'm around," Cloud argued softly. He planted a soft peck on Zack lips and smiled. 

"That's not true though," the older says and nuzzled his cheek against the blonde's. "Rufus took the time to plan this and it's ShiRa. I'm sure it's pretty grand."

Cloud didn't actually care if it's party in a sewage or plane as long as it's Rufus, he's stepping nowhere near that man. He knows Zack feels the same but he's too nice to admit that. For some unholy reason, Zack never liked Rufus and Cloud didn't want to push it but he had a guess that it was because of the other blonde's smugness and braggart attitude. He thinks he's so high and mighty just because he was born with a silver spoon sticking in his ass-- No, wait. That was wrong.

"It's sticking in his  _mouth_ , not  _ass._ "Zack says. Cloud elbowed him for laughing. "Anyway, think about it?"

"Fine, I'll see what I can do," he concedes. "Tifa will probably have my ass, assuming she plans to go."

Zack laughed first before turning serious. "Hate to break it to her but this ass is mine," he growled and groped Cloud's behind.

Cloud yelped and reeled to glare at him and was rewarded with a lopsided grin. He sighs and slumped back against his lover's chest and closed his eyes. "Please don't revert back to your old habits," he pleads.

"Not gonna make any promises."

Cloud groaned but hid a smile. He remembered his high school days before he and Zack got together. The dark-haired man would always grope his ass whenever they see each other. The only missing now is his consequential slaps. Back to the main issue. Cloud made a phone to Tifa and Aerith and yes, they are going and yes, they'll have his ass if he doesn't go. 

"You've secured me to the party," he says disheartedly to his lover.

Zack grins at him from the couch. "Tifa and Aerith?" The nod he got was enough. His amethyst eyes turned the wall clock. "We still have an hour. Gotta get ready if we wanna go."

With a defeated stance, Cloud followed him up to prepare. He had firmly suggested they take showers separatedly to avoid getting--uhh-- sidetracked for the better word of it. Of course, Zack petulantly protested and promised to control himself.

"That's what you said before we went to Mr. Rhapsodos' theater play a month ago and made it half-way through the performance!" Was Cloud's reasoning. 

Zack just gave him and sly look and carried him like a sack of potatoes (despite his protests) up to their shared bathroom. By the time they got out, it was already an hour late after the call time. Cloud passed out of the bed half-dressed with his hair still wet and hickies all over his chest. Zack made a victory dance and toppled when Cloud threw a pillow at his face and promised revenge before passing out again.

Zack prepared some finger foods for Rufus and added a few, ahem, ingrediends to... ah...  _spice_ things up a bit. He heard a thud upstairs and smirked at the loud curse that followed. Yup, his blonde's awake. Cloud came down with a massive, cold glare shooting Zack's back but the older didn't to care. 

"You stopped protesting half-way through and even begged for it," he muses. Cloud blushed before spluttering nonsense and settling on a simple promise of revenge. Again.

The shorter man settled on a hand-knitted turtleneck, aquamarine sweater with tiny snowflakes pattern, jeans and a pair of black and white converse. Simple but it was enough for Zack to lose himself in another daze fit. Cloud is just so beautiful. He must've said it outloud because the blonde was blushing again. He chuckled. After finishing the finger snacks, the young blonde offered to wrapped it up for his lover to change and prepare himself. 

Cloud stacked the sandwiches neatly and covered them in plastic wrapper. Zack came back down, wearing the partner of his sweater. It was deep purple with a small steaming mug patch over the upper left chest and he chose cargo pants and sandals. The sweater were gifts made by Claudia (Cloud' mom) on his and Zack's first christmas together. At least his mom knew not to go overboard with the details and it can be wearable on other occassions. 

"Let's go?" Zack smiles, adjusting a bag over his shoulder.

The young man nodded and took the container of sandwiches, which the elder took as soon as soon as he was in reach. Cloud didn't like it but he didn't protest. "What's in the bag?" He asked instead.

Zack winked at him and grinned, the kind the says 'I know something you don't. "It's a surprise." 

Cloud should've know better than to asked. He just shook his head and left it as it is. He locked up while Zack pulled the car out and then they were off. When they got there, it wasn't much of a surprise that it was a formal party. Well, for now, as Zack had hummed. 

"Welcome!" Reno greeted them.

The couple cringed at his hideous red sweater with garland and christmas balls pattern (it actually reminds them of the dramatic invitation that Cloud secretly burned while Zack was changing). Something tells them that everything was a set up by Reno... which was confirmed when they saw the supposedly host of the party, smelling like he was ambushed by sweaty gym clothes, strapped on a chair with a cloth over his mouth and a displeasured expresssion. He gave Cloud grunt greeting a nod towards Zack.

"Looks good!" Zack complimented. "Is this one of those surprises the card says?" He teased. 

Rufus looks like he wants to decapitate the taller judging from the way he eyes the butter knife on the table and back to Zack. Cloud would've found that amusing if only he wasn't so annoyed towards the future heir. Zack left the sandwich on the table and ignored Rufus' muffled call of help. They proceeded to the living room and was no longer surprise by the decor. Everything is as hideous as Reno's sweater and invitation cards, Zack doesn't even want to describe it. 

"I'm surprise you came," a voice said.

Zack grinned and recognition, he turns to give his retort. "Took a lot of convincing but Cloud..." his words died as he saw the speaker. He didn't need to look at the young blonde to know he had the same expression. 

"Sir... Sephiroth?" Cloud questions, completely stupefied.

There stood their former math teacher in loose, red clothing with a belt around his huge belly (hopefully fake) with polished shoes and a white bag over his shoulders. If kids were to see this, Cloud would bet they'll think twice before sitting on his lap and ask for gifts. They'd rather wish for the boogy man than Santa Sephiroth. He'd also bet that women would prefer this Santa than the latter.

"Is this a joke?" Cloud deadpans. There is no way his attractive yet somehow terror math teacher is dressed in a makeshift Santa Claus costume with a fake yet also convincing beard on his face. 

"I wish it was, Cloud. Nice seeing you again," the...uh... Santa Claus teacher says. 

Zack was still dumbstruck but he didn't seem to be aware that he's taking out his phone and is already taking pictures. Cloud had slap the phone away before they got to the greeting.

"How did Reno convince you to do this?!" He points, an amuse grin creeping to his face. "I gotta ask him for tips!"

"Zack." Both Cloud and Sephiroth calls. Zack didn't relent though but he'll behave... for now. 

"Apparently for my presence here, my sister had asked and as for the persuation of this appearance; it was Genesis," he explained. His milky green eyes had a distant glow in them but Cloud saw it as souls swirling as if those eyes were the passage to the Underworld. Okay, maybe he should stop reading too much Percy Jackson series and imagine his terror teacher in such manner. 

..... nah.

"Speaking of your sister, where's Aerith?" Zack wonders as he pocketed his phone and looks around like a puppy after hearing a whistle.

"Somewhere around h-- there she is," the silver--er, white(?) haired man points.

Zack's jaw dropped as she saw Aerith hanging upside-down the ceiling garland with Cissnei. How it held their weight, he'd also like to know. "What is she doing up there?" Cloud asked, bewildered. 

"Hanging around!" The brunette chirps and dared to swing. "Hey, Zack! Hey, Chocobo!"

Cloud watched in horror how she and the redhaired did a flip and and caught another garland and swung that was accompanied by a call of the wild. A.K.A, Tarzan's yellings. Zack blinked towards Sephiroth with his jaw still dropped but the teacher followed his sister with his eyes like it doesn't bother him at all... No wait, nevermind. His fingers would occasionally twitch in instinct as if he was prepared to catch her whenever she leaps to another garland. 

"Is this normal?" Zack asked. The older man just shrugged and went somewhere. "Sir?"

Cloud just blinked himself out of shock and urged Zack out of the way before any further accidents happens. The couple encountered more weird versions of their friends and former teachers. Like Tseng and Vincent in elf costumes, Cid with a reindeer horn headband and red nose ball. The most horrifying was Angeal in a Mrs. Claus-- a fucking MRS. CLAUS! costume. Zack fainted after that. Yes, apparently it was Mr. Rhapsodos' scheme along with Reno's seeing as how everything was weird. Elena was in a holy angel dress with a fake holy ring kept by a wire strapped behind her, Cissnei changed into a gingerbreadman house. Yes, house. She said the gingerbreadman was so overrated. Tifa was only wearing a single santa hat and no more surprises after that.

"How are you okay with this?" Cloud gestured as soon as they were completed in the living room. 

It was a small number of guest, much to the couple's surprise. They thought everyone in their school was invited but it turns out to be their close friends and former high school teachers. Still, it was surprising how they are all dressed so,  sorry for this, freakishly weird (mostly the teachers. Cloud was thankful there was no traumatizing science teachers or else he'll be out of here faster than the word run). Zack still can't look at their former guidance counselor. The fake bossoms says it all. 

"Didn't you read the invitation?" Reno grinned, holding a card between his fingers. "Plan your own surprise and win a prize." The redhaired repeats. 

Cloud wondered what the prize was that was enough to make the most terrifying man in all of Gaia (Sephiroth) dressed up as a ridiculous fat man in children's fairy tales. Probably worth the humiliation, his mind says. Probably. The blonde had to encourage his lover to at least acknowledge Angeal but no such thing. It's like he was traumatized. 

"Anyway, everyone seems to be here, let's start!" The young redhaired dragged a strapped-in-a-chair-who smells-funny Rufus into the room with a grin of triumph. "Now that's effort. Anyway..." he removed the gag and the blonde immediately promised bloody murder.

"When I'm through with you, you won't be planning any more surprises let alone a chance of freedom, Reno," Rufus was seething and Reno was hiding behind Rude's broad body.

Though, you won't find a guy dressed in candy cane pattern pj's intimidating, won't you? Because yes, Rude is wearing candy cane patterned pj's with matching slippers and sleeping cap. Suddenly, Cloud found himself feeling a sense of dèjá vu at the events before him. Not the same situation but definitely the same urge of questioning his species then he remembers his first month when he transfered during his high school days. Ironically speaking, it's his last year in college. Weird. 

"Give it a chance boss, let's just get started, okay?" He offered shakily. Rufus glared at him again and Reno shrunk behind the big man. 

After a few apologies and coaxing, Reno started the party while glancing nervously over to Rufus as if the man would suddenly pounce at him and punish him or something. Somewhere around the explaination, alcohol came out and Cloud took the opportunity to indulge himself. It's not everyday he and Zack drink, they're not even partygoers. Both preferred to stay at their home and snuggle on the couch during weekends and after classes or part-time jobs. He and Zack seemed to agree on it as they both took an entire bottle of wine to share.

"Let's just go slow, okay?" Zack had reminded, Cloud agrees to it. It's safe after all considering Zack is driving them home after this. 

"So for now, let's start with a simple scanvenger hunt!" Reno says and dropped a few envelopes in front of them. "Each can choose to go solo but not more than 3 people in each group. If you need me, I'll be hiding somewhere... Ta-ta!" And then he was gone. "Also, don't break anything or Rufus will have my ass."

"Damn straight I will!" Rufus swore somewhere. 

Cloud and Zack scrambled and wrestled the others for an envelope and then started their hunt. 5 items, doesn't seem to bad. One problem though, 5 small item, one big house. 

"Here's the plan," Zack whispered to his ear. "You go to the bathroom and I'll follow you. We ignore everything else and enjoy ourselves, because fuck, you look so sexy tonight, Cloudy."

Cloud hit him after that. An hour then, a few crashes, broken glasses, Aerith swinging again on those ceiling garlands and Tifa tackling the christmas tree down while wrestling Rude, Zack and Cloud completed their list. Now all they had to do was look for Reno or Rufus to claim their victory. The couple made their way back to the living room when-- 

"What was that?" Cloud froze and look around.

"What was what?" Zack raised a brow and followed Cloud's line of sight. Then he winced.

"That," the blonde repeats.

They slowly tiptoed and stopped in front of a door. With a silent agreement, both pressed their ears against the wood and listened intently. Cloud frowned even more when a look of understanding crossed his boyfriend's face before a smirk followed. Zack's senses were always sharper than Cloud's so no surprises he heard first. But Cloud wasn't so envious anymore the moment he recognized it, he pulled away and stared at the elder with a blush on his face. He knew the sound of spanking when he hears it. He and Zack would sometimes consider it when they get carried away from their foreplay but it wasn't constant since BDSM or pain foreplay wasn't either of their kinks just for stimulation. 

"Let's get outta here before our friend boss man and red ridinghood notices we're here," Zack winks and pulled a dazed-struck Cloud away from the floor. 

When they got back to the living room, Tifa was sitting on the sofa with a few needles of pine tree sticking everywhere her hair. Aerith and now, Elena are tangled on the ceiling and are getting help from Sephiroth, Tseng and Angeal while Genesis, Rude and Cid held the steel ladders. Zack wished he hadn't look up, forgetting the fact that Angeal was wearing a dress. He fainted again. When Reno got back, he was flushed red and limping, rubbing his ass as if trying to cool it down. Knowing the fact he got a good spanking, Cloud could only guess how he'd manage to smile like nothing happened. 

"Who got here first?" He grinned. "And who destroyed the tree?" He frowned at that one.

"Tifa accomplished both," Cissnei pointed the annoyed brunette, who was glaring daggers towards Rude.

"Need I remind you that he is keeping my foothold stable while I untangle my sister out of these cursed vines, Ms. Lockhart?" Sephiroth's voice boomed over them despite him speaking so calmly and lowly. 

"Sorry, sir," Tifa huffed and crossed her arms. Genesis snickered at that.

"Genesis, I can feel the ladder shaking," Angeal called from above. He grunts as he pulled the oddly, tough garland. The way he flexes his shoulders made his fake boobs pop bigger and almost dominated his face. Zack just woke up and that was the first thing he saw and he passed out again.

"Seriously," Cloud groaned and adjusted Zack on his lap.

The moment both girls were untangled, everyone was offered to eat while they watched the movie 'The Rise of the Guardians'. Half-way through the movie, Reno teased a very drunk Cloud about how his sweater almost resembled the concept to cliche winters. He shuts up after Cloud stuffed the spiced up sandwich Zack made. After that, no one ate the sandwich knowing it was very spicy. In the end, Zack and Cloud ate their brought snacks. (Tsend or Rude would ask for some from time to time).

"Sir!" Cloud slurs and pointed a finger towards Sephiroth... actually, the finger is pointing towards Aerith who was next to the silver-haired teacher. "Where's... uh... Santa?!" 

"Cloud, you're drunk," Tifa sighed, but her amusement was there. A drunk Cloud, is a bold Cloud.

"How... shouldda... know!" Sephiroth hiccuped, the wine filled glass in his hand jolted the contents. 

"Didja... k-kidnapped da ol'man! Poor... kids?" Cloud narrowed his eyes and pointed an accusing finger to the teacher. "And ya!" He pointed Angeal, which was actually Genesis. "D' Mama Claus... is not-- da-da-dat buff!" He puffed out his chest to prove his point. By then, Reno's phone was already recording the events. 

"Dun' accuse my... Ma!" Sephiroth grasped Cloud's hand and tug him. "Ma... is mah swheet wa-wife!" And then he was sobbing.

Tseng and Rude had other things to do and left the party. Cloud sobbed with his teacher and patted him on the back. "There, there... Santa dun' cry..." whatever fight was going on, it disolved completely and then both drunkards were doing the Tango.

"Uh... is that suppose to be normal?" Rufus asked.

"Yeah, for whatever reason, Seph dances when his drunk," Genesis snickered. The blonde turned to Aerith who nodded in confirmation. By then, Cissnei, Elena, Cid and Vincent left.

Reno then announced the surprise event about everyone showing up their own surprises. Zack ran out of the room and said something about going to the bathroom. When he came out, Cloud screamed in terror, all alcohol in his system was completely drained. Like, he really screamed. There stood in front, was his boyfriend in a female Santa costume. Zack is hot, that much is obvious but now Cloud takes back all those compliments he said that his boyfriend would look good in anything he wears. Because right now, this is something he doesn't want to see ever again.

"Surprise!" He grins and posed like a cheap sexy star with his tongue out.

The tight, red tube dress was barely covering those jewels Cloud is the only one allowed to see. The white, tight elbow-lenght gloves and knee-high boots barely fit him at all and Cloud fears the costume can't keep hold of that taut and ripped body. The bell of the cap jingled as Zack cock his hips side to side in a trying-hard way. His ass was tightly hugged by the leather and it was not turning on Cloud. Not. All!

"Zack! What are you wearing!?" Cloud was trying hard not to freak out. He knew his boyfriend is crazy but definitely not stupid. Okay, so maybe he is... but only just a little. However, Angeal doesn't look like he agrees, though he had no room to talk. 

"Duh, a surprise of course!" The man grins.

Cloud blinked and tried to form any sort of protest but nothing came out. His brain circuited as it tried to process the sight before him. Never in his life did he ever wish he'll forget a moment with Zack. Now, he doubts that promise... Though, the shutter of a camera went off and Cloud realized it was his  _own_ phone. 

"Oops."

"Dude! And I thought Angeal and Sephiroth surprised me!" Reno broke out of the stupified moment and gawked at Zack. Zack only winked at him and placed a hand on his hip. 

"How did you find something like that without me knowing?" Cloud asked. "It looks like it doesn't even fit you!" For a moment, Zack was sheepish. "Zack..." the blonde's tone held warning. 

"It's... ah... supposed to be... uhm..." the last one was so low no one heard it.

"What?" Sephiroth grumbled.

Zack only groaned and strolled towards his lover. He whispered something that made Cloud flush deep red and stare at him in disbelief. "How come I've never found it? I clean the house!" The young man demands.

"You know I'm always good with surprises!" The dark-haired man smiles. 

Cloud gawks as Zack slapped his own ass and started to twerk with his lips puckered. Now, it was the blondes turn to pass out. Everyone rushed to him together while Zack was between mild panic and confusion. After a few minutes of yelling and orders from Tifa, Zack got dressed and drove his lover back home. Reno turned with a shrug then he grins.

"Anyone up for New Year's party?" 

"Reno!"

"What? M'just askin', yo!"


End file.
